Too Much

I have so much going on right now, I just don't know what to write about. My thoughts are a mess. I keep starting blog entries only to get lost in my own thoughts. My life is in a different place right now, things are...just different, I can't think of a better word than that. I can say that my life is more amazing than ever, more clear than ever. I am working on getting my thoughts and postings together, if I can do that I will have a million entries!! :)

I Love Diet Coke and French Fries

I love diet coke and french fries. I am funny but not the in your face funny girl, I am funny when you aren’t expecting it. I am fiercely loyal; but that passion with my loyalty also means I have been deeply hurt by those that aren’t as loyal to me, as I am to them. I love Jack and Sam, I know every parent says that and I don’t want to be that girl that only talks about her kids, but they changed my life in a way I never knew possible. I am a Daddy’s girl. I am a hopeless romantic; I watch the Bachelor and think real people do those things. I think every girl deserves romance, my Dad taught me that. I have few friends but those that I do have I would do anything for. I am needy. I love Target. I will always have dogs. I love to stay in a hotel…it doesn’t matter if it is 1,000 miles away from home or down the block. I am not messy or lazy but I don’t like to clean. I am not artistic at all but I am very creative. I wish I cooked more. I am obsessive. I don’t like when people say that don’t watch television. Before I had kids, I loved having days where I would just stay in bed all day. I have a great memory. I love living in California. I miss Oregon. I would love to live somewhere else. I have the tendency to overhype everything, when I get something in my head I build it up and up, and then when I am in the moment I am disappointed. I am working on that. I want my kids to learn history through seeing the present. I love texting. I have been hurt but I don’t regret anything that has happened to me, it makes me, me. I love holidays…all holidays. I love my double stroller, but hate taking it in and out of the car. I love Disneyland. I hate talking on the phone. I miss people from my past. I loved working for Nextel. I love planning things. I hate being hot. I will make every birthday of my kids an insanely special day. I love things that make me feel like a kid. I love themes. I love biographies. I make excel spreadsheets for everything. I am a crier. I think Dr. Drew is hot. I once crushed a champagne glass with my bare hands. October is my favorite month. Pink is my favorite color, but not to wear. I want to dress better; I just need money to buy an entirely new wardrobe. I have a blanket obsession. I once worked in a restaurant that had mountain lions and sea otters in it. I own my own pair of waders.

That’s me.

Not Getting Lost

So I decided that I needed to start taking some time to myself, time where I didn’t have two kids, two dogs or a boyfriend to take care of. It is easy for a girl to lose herself in all that, I don’t want to get lost. Whether you choose to do this or something happens that forces you to do this I think everyone should do it. And spending time by yourself means by yourself…not being anti-social but just being alone.

I couldn’t figure out what I could do by myself but then the answer was obvious, start blogging again!! After all there was a time when I loved blogging, it allowed me to vent, share stories, talk to everyone or no one, and just an overall place for me to be me. So here I am in the corner of Starbucks beginning a new blog and it is nice. Even though I loved blogging before I didn’t truly appreciate the time alone like I am in this moment. What makes this blog different from the last time…I don’t care if anyone reads it. I love that it is away for family and friends to peek into my life if they want to, but today, right now, I am writing for me, not you. I am going to be honest though…my mind is blank; I have no idea what to write about. I do know that I want to be committed to this though. I want to write and write often, so maybe sometimes I will write about nothing and maybe sometimes I will write about everything.